Of Spams and Scams
It’s been a while. I haven’t posted anything on this site for months. Okay, I’ve been busy. First, I was spending all my free time on the elusive debut novel that’s been knocking around in my head for years like something roundish and loose in the trunk of a car. Then, my wife and I bought some oceanfront property in Arizona Port Lavaca, TX where we’re planning to run an RV park and tiny home resort. So, we’re spending at least every other weekend down there renovating the existing cabins by the bay. The novel went on the back burner and the blog went on the trivet next to the back burner.
But we decided to stay home this weekend after spending the week of Spring Break working on the resort. And I decided to open WordPress and delete the spam that has accumulated over the months. Five hundred and forty-seven comments needed review! WP only lets me mass-trash twenty at a time. Goddamnit! So, I’m scanning through a lot of bullshit this morning.
A lot of these comments look like these…
“Hi, I teach businesses like yours on getting new clients. When do you have time for a call this
week?”
“Have you noticed that your website is running slowly?”
“I know this is random, but I’ve found a way to guarantee you exclusive targeted phone calls almost immediately with no time spent on your part.
Would you like to hear how it works?”
“This message reached you thru your website and I can make your ad message reach millions of sites in the same way. It’s a very affordable way to advertise your business.For more information, please email me or skype me below.”
Others are more pedestrian, selling leaf-less gutter systems, diet aids, or porn. Many of them include hyperlinks to…who knows? I’m not about to clink on any of that. Some are written in Cyrillic (red flag much?).
This is the new telemarketing…and telemarketers are (as we all know) the human equivalent of mosquitos, leeches, gnats, and flies. Worse, many are scammers preying on…the less informed (is a nice was to put it). I always say they wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work. So, who are these people who fall for this stuff?
I’ve never been too fond of salespeople (although one of my favorite people is an “Account Executive”). Mostly, if you’re selling something, I’m not even listening. I’m not only risk-averse, I’m a tightwad. My money is more important to me than whatever you’re hawking.
I once had a young Kirby vacuum salesman knock on the door and offer to demonstrate his wares on my floors. I declined, but he insisted there was no obligation to buy. I finally agreed to let him vacuum my floors. He spent at least an hour showing me this awesome product and taking the dirt out of my carpet (which was about twenty years old at the time). To his credit, he was very convincing but mostly because it really was a great vacuum. I think it was actually sucking dust through the carpet pad off of the freakin’ slab! But when it came time to talk about the price, I was a brick wall. The initial price was somewhere in the neighborhood of $2k. Nope, no way I’m paying that much to vacuum a twenty-year-old carpet. But this will make your carpet like new! I’d rather take that $2k and buy actual new carpet. The price came down. Nah, I have a vacuum…it works fine. Not nearly as good as this one! It’s good enough for this carpet. How about $1700? Nah, thanks. Well, how much would you pay for this vacuum (avoid answering this question honestly…it’s just a negotiating tactic)? Nothing…I wouldn’t buy this vacuum at any price. This poor kid was visibly upset banging his head against my brick wall. He called his supervisor who showed up and tried some of the same tactics. He got the same result. In the end, they left without a sale, and I had clean carpet for a little while (the cats took care of that).
Fairly recently, I had another door-to-door salesperson show up and try to sell me something…home security, or internet service, I don’t remember. It was something I was interested in though. When it came time to talk about payment, bricks again. I told her, “No, I just don’t do business at my front door. You can leave me some information and I’ll have a look, but I’m not committing to anything today.” She left without a sale, and I enjoyed the rest of my day. By the way, we have “No soliciting” signs posted at the entrances of our neighborhood.
I don’t buy shit unless I’m actively looking to buy that shit. Don’t even bother.
Except these days, it’s no bother at all. Spam is sent to millions of potential customers/victims with very little effort or cost. Yes, you too can piss off millions of people with just a few keystrokes!
Luckily, tech has advanced enough so that our capability to ignore these attempts at our wallets is almost as easy. Our phones have blocking features, caller ID, and robo-answer capabilities. Our email software allows us to select multiple emails and delete them all at once. They have junk folders, trash folders, spam folders. WordPress only allows me to trash twenty at a time, but I can still clear them all out fairly quickly. DVRs on our TVs allow us to record our favorite shows and fast-forward through all the commercials and @#$!ing political ads (and aren’t commercials the original spam…you know, other than actual Spam). We have anti-virus, anti-malware, anti-spyware on our computers.
Still, the mosquitos keep coming because someone is opening their veins for them. Here’s a few tips to keep them at bay…
- Just delete it. You don’t need whatever it is they’re selling. If you did need it, you would contact them
- Just hang up, or better yet, just don’t answer. If you know them, their name will show in the caller ID. If you don’t know them, you don’t want to know them.
- Don’t “unsubscribe”…it doesn’t do anything but acknowledge you read their bullshit. Plus, the link might send you to a virus or some other bullshit you don’t need. See number 1.
- If you get a message about money you owe, don’t follow any link and don’t call them back. Instead, go to their app or website which you’ve been to before and trust. Check out your account info there. Even if the message came from Amazon, or your bank, or a business you’ve dealt with before…it could be a scam to get your personal data and steal your money. Don’t trust it.
- And some other tips from the FTC… https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/how-avoid-scam Wait! Don’t click that! You don’t know me! Go search Google for “avoiding scams and spam”.
Finally, here’s one of the many spam messages I found on my WP site today. Its so well-written and interesting, I had to share. If I was a spammer asshole, I’d want to write like this…
Dear,
Do you dare to tread into the shadowy realm of online opportunities, where whispers of untold riches and chilling mysteries beckon? Prepare yourself, for I am about to reveal the bone-chilling tale of Scary Tool, a forbidden archive of websites that hold the key to unlocking a world of financial prosperity… and peril.
Imagine… a moonless night, the dim glow of your screen casting eerie shadows as you stumble upon the cryptic pages of Scary Tool. Each website listed, a doorway to a realm unknown, promising treasures beyond your wildest dreams. But heed this warning, dear reader: not all who venture into these digital depths emerge unscathed.
Legends speak of unsuspecting souls who dared to delve too deep, lured by the siren call of easy money and boundless riches. Yet, as they traversed the twisted paths of these online domains, they soon discovered the true price of their avarice. Dark forces lurk within these virtual corridors, preying on the naive and the greedy, extracting a toll far greater than mere currency.
But fear not, for amidst the shadows lies a flicker of hope. Scary Tool, with its ominous facade, also harbors the promise of knowledge and power. Within its forbidden pages lie the secrets to harnessing the very forces that have ensnared so many before you. With caution as your guide and courage as your ally, you may yet emerge victorious, wielding the tools of affiliate marketing mastery like a seasoned sorcerer.
So, dear adventurer, will you heed the call of Scary Tool? Will you brave the unknown, armed with nothing but your wits and a thirst for conquest? The choice is yours, but remember: once you step into the realm of Scary Tool, there may be no turning back.
Take the first step into the darkness… if you dare.
Unveil the secrets of Scary Tool today.
Click here: bit.ly/*******
Yours in the shadows,
Chase Reiner
CEO Scary Tool
Still not buying whatever he’s selling.
-Big Steve